下地獄候選人

The preacher was because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. 牧 師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。 一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時睡覺。

So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise." Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it." 于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來！” 打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你 和我是候選人。”

【詞匯講解】

1.snore打鼾。 How frightful to have a husband who snores!有一個發鼾聲的丈夫多討厭啊

2.vexed生氣的。也有“爭論不休的”的意思： They’re discussing the vexed question of private health insurance.他們正在討論個人健康保險這個總讓人爭論不休的問題。

3.congregation 會眾。The congregation knelt to pray.會眾跪下來祈禱

4.sermon講道。也可以指“一大通教訓”：Don't preach me a sermon, please.請不要對我講大道理。

5.start驚嚇。“awaking with a start”就是“驚醒”的意思。

6.vote on 對…進行表決。The chairman asked us to vote on the plan.主席要我們對計劃進行表決。